Sunday, March 9, 2008

No need to be nervous

I began this weekend in a complete frenzy. I was anxious and nervous and a little angry. My husband was leaving at 3 a.m. Friday morning for a four day, three night trip to Cancun with couple of guys from work ... during Spring Break.

Before I go any further, I didn't realize it was Spring Break until he got down there and told me and I'm not, and never was worried about his fidelity, I only mention Spring Break because during that time in Cancun I can imagine there isn't going to be a boring second of the day.

His company rewards it's employees for their hard work by giving a few deserving an all expenses paid trip to a fancy resort in Cancun, Mexico, where they can kick back and relax. Unfortunately, they don't pay for the entire family to go so that meant I was looking at four days and three nights home, alone, with two very needy and very clingy children under the age of 2.

The longest I've been left alone with them is about 8 hours and that's about as long as I can keep it together before I need my husband to get home and help me take back control of the house. I'm their mother, I know I can take care of them, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't completely nervous.

Friday started out OK, I brought Sophia to daycare and Ryan and I stayed home and cleaned the entire house, top to bottom. I was trying to keep myself as busy as possible so that at the end of the day I would be exhausted and, therefore, not have any trouble sleeping alone in the house with the kids. Of course Sophia and Ryan both got up two times and as tired as I was managed about 4 hours total of sleep. It was a terrible start to the weekend and I was dreading the rest.

Saturday was a blessing. My former neighbor offered to watch both kids overnight so I could go out and get some much needed rest. If it wasn't for her I'm sure I would have lost my mind this weekend. At 2 p.m. on Saturday, I dropped off the kids. I went to dinner with some friends and came home and slept for 9 hours straight through. I think it's been years since I slept that long. I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for what was left of the weekend.

My aunt called me Sunday morning and offered to come over and hang out with the kids while I did some shopping. I took her up on the offer and she stayed with the kids for about two hours in the middle of the day.

It's now Sunday night and I feel like all the nervous energy I had about this weekend was silly. I spent a lot of time alone with the kids but not as much as I thought I would. I have a clean house, all the laundry and all the dishes are done and so far the kids are still asleep.

I'm not sure how the weekend would have been if I didn't have friends and family help me get through it, but I'm confident I would have managed and I'm thankful for that feeling. It means that tomorrow night when my husband comes home around 10 I can be happy to see him and glad he had a good time rather than being upset that he was out partying for an extended weekend.

It's amazing what one really good night of sleep can do for your self confidence.