Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Desperate times call for desperate measures

The big girl bed is a complete disaster. Sophia will not sleep in it. In fact, she won't even lie down in it. She is completely fine throughout her entire bedtime routine until it's time to put her in that bed. The shrill screaming starts the second we put her in bed.

I go potty, she screams and cries. We put her on the potty and she goes and she's calm and excited about going on the potty. Back to bed, and the screaming begins.



You just went potty. Lay down, sweetheart.

Sleep with Mommy.

Daddy, sleep.

The crying and screaming continues until she is out of breath, but she doesn't give up and she will not lay down unless we are in bed with her. So last night, we converted her big girl bed back into a crib. Sophia was devastated.

I feel terrible about it, but at least she will lie down in the crib. Of course, we had to be in the room with her, but she did fall asleep, only to wake at 2 a.m. She climbed out of her crib, opened her bedroom door, all the while screaming for Mommy and Daddy. She ended up in our room and in bed with us. Again.

I know this is our fault and I know she is taking advantage of this situation, but what do I do to fix it? I cannot just leave her to scream for us at the top of the stairs because 1. I feel like I'm abandoning her and 2. she will wake up Ryan and I just can't emotionally deal with two screaming babies in the middle of the night.

We can't keep her in the crib because she can climb out and I am afraid of her falling and hurting herself. It's only a matter of time before she looses her grip and falls to the floor.

But I can't keep her in the big girl bed because, well, she won't sleep in it.

I asked the teachers at daycare and they suggested taking her out and letting her pick out her own brand new sheets to make the big girl bed more special. And they also suggested I just let her cry. Eventually she will either get back into bed or curl up on the floor and sleep. They also said it is easier said than done and I'm pretty sure I will never be able to do it.

So, I'm asking you, no begging, for help. Please help. I am a mother desperate to fix this situation before it gets worse. Have any of you dealt with this and if so, what worked for you? Any and all suggestions will be tried. I'm desperate for help.


Bernadette said...

If you figure this out, please let me know. DO NOT go and waste money on letting her pick out sheets. Been there, done that. I think in the last 3-4 weeks, Savannah has only slept in her bed (all through the night) 2 times. If I find ANYTHING that works, I will let you know.....I feel for you.

Autumn's Mom said...


I didn't have this particular issue with Autumn..but maybe that was because I had a separate toddler bed that was in her room along with her crib for awhile. (didn't know what to do with the crib when we were done w/ it!!) Did you talk with Sophia about it before you switched the bed? It's definitely time to change, since she can crawl out and she's not the agile super monkey she thinks she is ;) I put a link to ivillage where they had some articles and some discussions. I'm so sorry it's been an issue for you. But you aren't alone! Keep us posted. xoxo

Mamasphere said...

When we were finally ready for Gabi to at least go to sleep in her big girl bed, we did it in stages. First, we spend a good many nights sleeping with her in the bed, then sitting on the bed while she went to sleep, then in the rocking chair. After a few months I was sitting on the floor outside of her room, and finally, I was able to go to my room while she went to sleep. It was a long, drawn out process, but worth it to make sure that she was comfortable and secure. We also do books, prayers and songs in her bed, so that she has a chance to settle down there and get comfortable. I hope you're able to find something that works for you! But whatever it is, just know it will take some time for everyone to adjust.

Carol said...

Our first happily transitioned to a bed now I am terrified to try with our youngest.

Have you got happiest toddler on the block. I remember my friend saying that had some great tips for sleeping.

Sorry it is all the advice I can offer.

JSue said...

Oh, Girl...I soooo symphathize with you. Our oldest daughter was so easy to train to her own bed. Our younger daughter is 33 months and we just recently (about a month ago) have gotten her to move into a big girl bed. Not from a crib - from our bed!!

I know it was totally my fault, but I was working and it was just easier to pull her into my bed at night and feed her. Otherwise, I would have been too tired to make it in to work the next day.

To make matters worse, my daughter has acid reflux. We tried to put her in her own bed and let her "cry it out," but she got sick and threw up all over the place. (We also feared her waking up our older daughter)

Here's what we did: We moved her toddler bed into our room. Then we would let her lay down in it at night and act like she was going to sleep there. When she didn't want to, we let her come join us. Once we thought she was comfortable with her bed, we would rock her to sleep and put her to bed there. She would wake up and we'd just let her join us in our bed. She stayed in the bed longer and longer. In the mornings, if she had slept in her bed all night, we would give her two M&M's and make a big to-do about her sleeping in her own big girl bed all night long. She loved that we told her we were proud of her.

Now, when she gets up in the morning, she says, "I sleep in my bed all night!" She's very proud of herself.

I can now enjoy cuddling with my hubby instead!!

Good luck - I will be sure to throw some prayers up for you! YOU CAN DO THIS!!


Formercitygirl said...

My little E. had a hard time adjusting to her big girl bed. What worked/works for us is that I get in bed with her, every night, and we read and say our prayers. Then, when she falls asleep. I leave. At first she would wake up in the middle of the night and call me and I would come back in. Now, she sleeps through the night, because she knows that anutime she needs me, I will be there.