Time to take some time for me

For the past month or so, I've put this blog on the back burner of my life. You see, I've become a bit overwhelmed with my day-to-day responsibilities and this was one of those things that I decided had to be brought down a notch.

Working full-time and raising two kids is a nearly impossible task. I have no idea how we manage as parents. I had been living under the false impression that once Ryan started walking I'd be free, but the truth is that now that he's running around, my life is even more chaotic.

I work 5 days a week, Sunday to Thursday, so Fridays I was home with both kids. Fridays had become my stay-at-home and hide day because I can't take them any place without at least one of them freaking out, and that's a dangerous scenario when there's only one parent dealing with two toddlers. Stuck in the house all day, the kids got bored, I got bored and we all got to each other. By 4 p.m. everyone was in tears and the TV was on so I could get at least some quiet time. But there is a light, my friends. Last week we decided it was in everyone's best interest for Mommy to have a day off too, so it's off to daycare for the kids on Friday.

My first reaction to this decision was that I must be a terrible mom for not being able to take care of my kids alone, but after a lot of thought and lots of tears, I realized that it's not that I can't take care of my children, it's that I really need a day to myself. I need a day to clean the house, do the laundry, read a book, go for a bike ride, meet friends for lunch and millions of other little things that I need to do for me to make me a better, more sane woman. This simple decision has changed my life. I love my children more than anything in the world, and I'm sure there will be Fridays that they stay home with me because I need that for me.

When you are young and dating, everyone gives you the advice that once you know who you are and you are happy with yourself, you will be able to be happy with another person. Well, why can't that same advice apply once you have children? If I'm overly stressed and I'm freaking out on the kids because I haven't been able to do a simple thing like go to the bathroom all day, maybe Mommy needs a break and take some time to be happy and content with herself so that she can be a happier, more effective parent.

So, I don't promise that I'll be posting here everyday, but maybe I'll get to it a little more often than once a week. Thanks to everyone who has stuck it out and kept checking back on me. I have been reading your blogs, I really have, but I haven't been commenting and I'm sorry about that. I'll get back into the swing of things soon, I swear.