Monday, December 29, 2008

I am that mother

Every parenting book you pick up talks about how both parents need to act as a single unit. This is foolish. Before everyone gets up in arms, let me explain. My theory is that if two parents start acting like one, you are outnumbered. Even if you have only one child, two parents acting as one gives one child the upper hand because kids always rule. At my house, the one child for each adult tactic is not working and we are entirely overwhelmed.

This Christmas, it became pretty clear to me that my children are spoiled rotten. I don't know how to parent any other way. If they are crying and want something, I can't do anything but give them what they want. I know this will backfire on me and my kids will grow up to be brats, but I can't help it.

Christmas turned Sophia into an evil princess!

It's beginning to feel like every day starts and ends with crying children. Both want to be held all the time and both will turn from sweet, innocent children to demons from hell at a moments notice if they aren't getting what they want. But here's the thing, they are wonderful, well-behaved children for everyone else but us. They eat, play nicely and listen to anyone watching them, but once we show up to pick them up, all hell will break loose and one, if not both, will immediately start acting up. There are days when the teachers at daycare will tell me they had a great day and while I'm walking the kids to the car one will have a tempertantrum because they won't want to leave.


So, how do you combat screaming, crying, whining and spoiled children? What is your secret to a quiet, fully functioning household?

By the way, the behavior chart is working nicely. Sophia is improving at daycare, but I still can't shake her out of the tempertantrum habit. Ryan, being a good student, is following in her footsteps and throwing his very own tantrums. Yes, I am that woman with the screaming kids in Target and I am very sorry about it.


Autumn's Mom said...

It's tough isn't it? We do good cop bad cop in my household. haha (you are welcome to use this one later when the kids are older!)

Sigh, the only thing I can tell you is to stop giving in. It's not too late to do it now. Maybe they feel this is the best way to get your attention. Give them one or two options in that kind of situation and hopefully that will give them some sense of control (and you too) and if it doesn't work, a time out. What ever you try, stick to it. It's hard at first, but you'll stop pulling your hair out :)

Reminds me of one time, when Autumn was 2 and I was holding her like a football cuz she was crying and kicking. Had to stay in line for whatever I was buying. Some woman actually came up to me and offered if she could give her Candy. I was like WTF?? Do you see this hellion? NO she can't NOT have any candy!

Bernadette said...

Street angels, house devils.....I have that scenerio too. (it would be much worse if it was the other way around) Your kids are great. Don't let it get you down. It's normal. We'll just have to keep trading more often.

James Austin said...

Happy New Year. I think we are all in the same boat on that one, but good luck with it anyway. Look forward to reading all about it in 09.