Playing catch up

How long can you go in between posts and still call yourself a blogger? I think I'm going to find out.

I've noticed during the last couple of weeks that the less I blog the better I feel about my parenting skills. Maybe it's because I'm not analyzing every move I make, or maybe it's because when my kids are bad, I forget about it instead of writing about it.

Yeah, that's the ticket. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Having said all that, so much has gone on that I'm not even sure where to start, so I'll start on the toilet. Quite literally, Sophia has decided she wants to use the potty. She still isn't telling us when she has to go, but she's using the potty when we ask her if she has to go. To be fair, she did tell us one time on Saturday that she had to use the potty, but it hasn't happened since.

Regardless, I am thrilled at her enthusiasm for the potty and I'm feeding into it as best I can, so much so that Ryan has decided he should sit on the potty whenever Sophia does. It's actually very cute, he just plops his little butt down on her little potty after she's done and claps. Maybe, if I'm lucky, Ryan will be potty trained by the time Sophia is and I'll have both kids out of diapers by the summer.

Good luck, right.

The other major thing happening at home is Sophia (again) has decided she can't stay in her bed. Bedtime stretches for hours (if both parents are home, of course). Supernanny would be appalled at how long it takes us to put Sophia to bed. We've tried everything, from Supernanny techniques to sleeping on the floor next to her bed. Nothing works … except ignoring her. I hope I'm not jinxing myself, but what has been working is when she gets out of bed after we tuck her in, we go upstairs and put her back into bed without saying a word to her. She's an attention grabber, so she doesn’t enjoy this one bit. Some days she screams louder, other days she goes back to sleep.

It's a crap shoot, really. One day she'll go to sleep.

Sigh

When she does go to sleep, we've noticed at about 11 p.m. every night, Sophia wakes up screaming. I think she's having a nightmare, but I can't confirm that since she doesn't really understand what a dream is. I've resorted to comforting her and giving her whatever she wants to calm her and get her to go back to bed.

My kids aren't spoiled one bit, are they?

Enough about the kids, you want to know about me too, right? Yes, I know, I'm used to playing second fiddle when my kids are around, but, damn it, you're going to hear about me too. This weekend beautiful weather crept in and we took advantage of the 60 degree weather to go for our first bike ride of 2009. It felt so great to get back on the bike and out of the gym, it better have, because this year we have quite a few miles to train for and I'm so nervous and looking forward to it at the same time.

This year, in addition to the MS 150 City to Shore ride we did last year, Jon and I are going to do the Dutch Country ride in July, which is two 100 mile days (ugh!) and we are hoping to do the Livestrong Challenge ride when it comes to the area, which is another 150 miles. All together that's 500 miles for 2009.

I hope my legs make it.

In exactly three weeks, my husband and I will be boarding a plane and flying to Cancun. I am so excited about this trip because 1) it's a warm vacation spot in the middle of crappy weather season, and 2) THE KIDS ARE NOT COMING! I love my kids to death, but is it really a vacation if the kids go? Hmmm, you can decide that for yourself.

Weekend update: Missing my babies

Since I've never done anything like this before, I can only surmise that this happens to everyone. There is only five weeks left until the MS150, and I'm getting frustrated. I'm frustrated because all of my free time is spent on a bicycle and I miss my kids. Because my husband and I both work full time during the week, we get a grand total of about 3 hours a day with them (not counting middle of the night visits). Weekends are our only family time and this entire summer I have spent the better part of every single weekend riding my bike.

When we came home from our ride yesterday, Sophia was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch with my aunt (who has watched the kids every single weekend this entire summer. Without her help we would never be able to do this ride). She looked up from her chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, smiled and said, "Mommy home! I miss you."

I miss you too, honey.

I really, really do.

But I feel like I'm getting better and I want to finish this ride and I will not be able to do so if I don't train. I want to finish the ride because I can. I can when so many people cannot, especially many who are afflicted by Multiple Sclerosis. No, it is not a bike ride across the country and it's a far cry from the Tour de France, but it's my goal, and 150+ mile bike ride over two days is nothing to take lightly. I am not the best, the fast or even the rider who has raised the most money, but I am a rider.

But I am also a mother … a mother who misses spending time her children … two children who are growing up way too fast.

This will all be over soon and I want to keep riding, it is fantastic exercise and is really helping me get back into shape. But I'm hoping to bring it down a notch or two. Instead of riding 85 miles over the weekend (whoo hoo, that is what we did this weekend!!), we'll put the kids in a bike trailer or get a carrier for them and take them for a leisurely ride.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with anything that takes you away from your family? How do you manage?

To my archnemisis: Don't read this!

When I ride my bike, I sometimes feel like a superhero. Dressed in my superhero outfit (no, that isn't me!), I can speed past many other riders on the trail. I feel good, like I can pedal forever, that is until I have to go down a hill.

If I was a superhero and I had an archnemisis, he could totally kick my butt by just by putting me on top of a huge hill.

Ugh.

Most riders love speeding down hills. My husband is one of them. He'll pick up to speeds of over 30 mph. Me? I practically stop. I get so nervous. "I'll meet you at the bottom," I yell to him as he flies past my wimpy butt. I squeeze my breaks and hold it steady, balancing myself and practically hold my breath until I reach the bottom.

This is where I do not look or feel like a superhero at all.

So what gives? Why can't I just take a hill like every other rider out there? If I were on a mountain bike, I know I would have no trouble getting down these hills. In fact, I'd probably even enjoy them, but this road bike is a completely different animal. I know it can go fast and I can make it go fast. What I don't know is how to unclip from the pedals and dismount fast enough not to fall, which is especially embarrassing when I'm alone. Falling is my biggest fear while riding this bike and it's not one of those fears where I can just fall and get it out of my system because I've fallen like six times in the four weeks I've had this bike.

I'm guessing it will just take practice to get comfortable on the bike. I'm proud of my accomplishments (I road 74 miles this weekend, almost half of the MS150 with 5 weeks left to train), but I need to get over this hump because it slows my time down and when I'm riding with my team (which I did this weekend too!) it really disrupts our line. I don't know how to do it except with lots and lots of practice. I will try any suggestions, so if you have any, please share. PLEASE!

My question to you is this: What is your fear and if you got past it, how did you do it?

The wonderful world of cycling

"Get the fuck out of the road, assholes!" That is the world of cycling I road into Saturday morning.

It was terrifying.

Jon and I were making our way into Philadelphia; it was about half way through our 38 mile ride. We've been riding on a paved trail that head into the city, but the last two or three miles heading into the city is loose gravel, dirt and, of all things, a boardwalk. Instead of taking the trail for those last several miles, we decided to take the road this time since it's a smoother surface to ride.

Peddling up and up and up a huge hill, we were rewarded at the top with a pretty steep decent. I get a little nervous going down hill because I feel out of control, so cautiously I continued down. The open road turns into cramped city streets pretty quickly. We got through several stop signs then came to our first traffic light.

Jon is ahead of me. Behind me is another cyclist. It's a woman, something I'm finding pretty rare along the road, but I'm thankful for this woman. She is way more comfortable on her bike than I am, but she's patient with me as I slowly make my way through the first traffic light. At the second traffic light, I watch Jon almost get hit by a car that's making the same left-hand turn he is. Suddenly, Jon starts shouting. "Whoa! Watch it, asshole. You almost hit me!"

"I was slowing down," the driver of the car yells.

"Jackass," Jon yells and speeds through the light.

The patient woman behind me gets past me and I stop at the light. I'm not in the left-turn lane, where I'm supposed to be. I'm standing on the corner, trying to catch my breath and calm my shaking hands. Oh my God, I think, how am I going to get through this light? It's red, so I have a minute to think. Looking back and forth, there are no cars coming the other direction, so I clip back in my peddles and go through the red light and some how, by the grace of God himself, meet up with Jon and the patient woman at the next light.

While waiting for the light to change, the three of us talk about the incident that just occurred. She laughs and says, "Yeah, this guy threatened to back up over me a few miles back."

That's it, I'm sure I'm going to die before we reach our halfway destination. I'm certain today will be the day I die.

Riding up Main Street, the road narrows. Cars are parked on both sides of this two way street. The speed limit is 25 mph, we're going about 17. The cars behind us are following us as we make our way through the city and up another slight hill. The car behind us is a white convertible with a young guy driving.

"Get the fuck out for the road, you assholes," he screams at us, probably 10 times. Each time he gets louder and more obnoxious.

OHMYFREAKINGGOD, I'm dead, for sure. There is no place for us to go, our only option is just to keep peddling and ignore the guy screaming and honking his horn at us. Cars are parked bumper to bumper along the street and from the looks of things, the sidewalk is just as dangerous as the road. Somehow we make it to the water ice stand that is our halfway mark. I don't know how it happened, but we got there. My hands were shaking and my knees were weak. All I wanted to do was sit and try and pull myself back together.

"Sorry Jon, I'm not going back that way. We're going to have to take the trail back."

"Come on. Think about that huge hill we'll get to go down," he says.

"Nope. Sorry. You can go, I'll meet you. There is no way I'm going through that again. I am just not comfortable enough for that. Look at my hands. They are still shaking. "

He didn't leave me. He took the trail back with me and endured the gravel and cobble stone (which I dutifully fell on and bruised my wrist, hand and hip. Go ahead, you can laugh. I would laugh at me). Of course, riding through all that (and my fall) slowed our overall time, but I'm alive to tell this story. As far as I'm concerned, it was a good ride.

Time for serious training

Day one of our vacation has been pretty eventful. I finally got my new bike on Saturday, but I still needed to be fit to it. We did that today. I also got new cleats, which are really cool, but really hard to figure out. I’ve never been physically attached to my bike while riding and this is something to get used to. I fell the first time I tried to get on the bike. In fact, I fell twice. I’m going to have a bruise on my hip and a sore wrist to show for it, but it was worth it because it was so much fun riding. It was way better than riding the old crappy mountain bike, so training should be a lot easier.

Here’s my new bike! It’s a Cannondale R500.

In other news, Sophia tried on one of princess outfits she got for her birthday. She was being a little camera shy, but I was able to get this picture of my little princess.