Moving up

From now on, I'm taking the stand that if I complain about something enough, I can get results. This time it comes in the form of Sophia moving up to the 2-year-old room a month and a half early.

I got a letter from the daycare director last week informing me that Sophia will begin transitioning to the big kids' room on June 9 and on June 16 she will start in that room full time. I couldn't be any more excited unless they started paying me to send the kids to daycare. As far as I'm concerned, the last five months have been a complete disaster as far as daycare is concerned. Granted, there have been no incidences of any kind for the last three weeks, but everything that we've gone through prior to this time has been crazy. The biting, the hitting, the new teachers coming and going, it's been too much for me to deal with and I certain it's stressful for Sophia, too.

Here's what she's moving into: The head teacher has been working at the daycare for 16 years, most of the time in the 2-year-old room. The assistant has been working there for 2 years. How do I know this? I got a letter of introduction from the teachers, along with a copy of their daily schedule and a list of rules for the classroom and a two page questionnaire for me to fill out about Sophia. It had questions about her home life, her likes and dislikes, her eating habits, her fears and what comforts her. I was so excited about it that I filled it out the day I got it.

I love this classroom already.

Daycare dilemma

I am fuming. I'm more upset than I have been in longer than I can remember. Yesterday, I picked Sophia up from daycare and she had a cut across the bridge of her nose. Her face looks terrible. Her left eye is a little black and blue from whatever happened, too.

Wait. What? "Whatever happened?" you ask.

Answer: No one knows.

Yup, that's right, no one has any idea how my daughter got a cut across the bridge of her nose during nap time.

Oh, I am indeed upset.

Here's the conversation between me and her teachers:

Me: Sophia, what happened to your face?

Sophia: Boo boo.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry honey. What happened (addressing the 3 teachers in the classroom)?

All teachers stop what they're doing and look my way.

Me: She didn't come to school with this, so what happened?

Teacher 1: We didn't see how it happened so we didn't write anything up, but now that we know it happened here we'll document it. (In their defense, these 3 teachers are not her regular classroom teachers, they are just with Sophia at the end of the day.)

Me: OK, so what happened?

Teacher 2 (Who IS one of Sophia's regular teachers): She must have gotten it during nap time while I was at lunch.

Me: So who was in the classroom?
(Teacher 2 names two teachers I've never heard before)

Me: No one saw anything?!

Teacher 2: It was during nap so the lights were off. I've said before that we need more people in this room.

Me: No one heard her cry? She must have had some reaction to getting hurt. Was the cut cleaned? Did anyone put ice on it? Did she get a hug or any kind of support while she was crying? You know, on Friday I found a bite mark on her back and I didn't get a report for that either. What is going on in this classroom? I'm going to have to talk to the director about this.

Teacher 2: Good, maybe you can get more people in here.

Argh!

This is my daughter's face we're talking about here. This is the place I bring my children every day. I do expect a certain amount of cuts and bruises. Kids will be kids. But I expect there to be documented reactions from the teachers when something happens. This incident was something that should have been noticed.

You can't even imagine how awful I feel at the thought that my daughter was suffering some kind of pain with no one there to comfort her.

It's just awful.

I tried to talk to the director last night, but she was on the phone and I couldn't wait around for her (which was probably a good thing since I was even more upset yesterday), so I talked to her first thing this morning. Her reaction was the same as mine. She said would be talk to the teachers. She then proceeded to tell me that in daycares, not just here, there is a high turn over rate for teachers in the young toddler rooms because the kids are such high maintenance that the teachers burn out quickly. This means little stability in the classroom.

But that is no excuse for no one noticing a cut on Sophia's face, I said. She agreed with me and said it is clear they aren't doing their job and they will be reprimanded.

You know, I drop my kids off at daycare every morning and go to work not because I need to get out of the house or because I don't want to take care of my own kids, but because I need to work. I need to contribute financially to my family. We, like millions of other families, need two incomes to keep the household running. I don't have the option to stay home, nor does my husband.

So what do I do? Do I change daycares or let it ride and see what happens? She's only in this classroom for another 2 months when she moves to the 2-year-old room where there is a teacher who's been there for a long time. What I'd really like to do is go down there right now and pull my kids out of daycare and put them both in a little bubble surrounding my house until I can find people worthy of taking care of my children.

But that's serious crazy mom talk.

Fundraiser, shmundraiser

Here I am less than 24 hours before I'm supposed to turn in the order forms for my kid's fundraiser and I'm way below my goal.

Daycare put us up to the task of selling candles, cookie dough, pies and other miscellaneous items nearly two weeks ago. The note that came with the package states that if everyone sells just five items they will be able to meet their goal and get new playground equipment. Yes, it's a good cause, so, yes, I brought it into work the very next day. But I didn't really sell it and now I'm feeling guilty for my lack of motivation.

The day I brought in the package I made a general announcement that my kids were selling "stuff" and it was for a good cause – playground equipment for my kid's daycare – and if anyone was interested the form would be on the table.

Two people placed an order in almost two weeks. Honestly, I'm shocked that even two people placed an order, but now that I have two orders I feel like I should have five. You see, if I didn't have any orders then I could just claim that I forgot to sell them or that I didn't have time. But since I have two orders, I feel like I should have my simple goal of five.

I might as well try, I thought, since I have to place an order anyway, right?

I tried, all right. I brought the forms to another department and the first person I approached said, "Already? In daycare?"

"Yup, it's for playground equipment," I said.

She placed an order. Hooray! That's three. Another person is looking at the forms right now and that will be four if she gets anything. By the end of the day I could make my goal. It's within reach, even if I have to buy a $9 candle myself, I will make my goal of five orders.

Come to think of it, I hope it was just five orders, not five orders per student.

Feeling great about being wrong

It's not every day that I feel so happy about being wrong. After having a long conversation with Sophia's teacher, that's exactly how I feel.

In recent weeks, I've been worried about biting and the hierarchy of her daycare class and after talking about this with my husband, I decided today to ask Sophia's teacher to call me at her convenience so we could talk about her behavior.

When she called this afternoon, I was fully prepared to have a conversation about how we can do more at home to help Sophia stop her biting, but what I got was exactly the opposite. I started the conversation asking about the dynamics of her classroom. I asked if biting was a problem throughout the class and if Sophia was the ringleader because I felt a lot of emphasis was placed on her biting and asked how we could get a handle on it.

I am proud to say the teacher said Sophia was not the ringleader and, in fact, she was one of the most unaggressive children in the class. She said Sophia's biting has actually decreased in the last couple of months. She said Sophia was actually doing very well and I shouldn't be concerned.

She told me at this age the children are learning how to communicate and sometimes they get frustrated and bite. She did say that the behavior was not appropriate, but she didn't think any of the biting was so bad that it was a problem. She also said some of the more aggressive children were the older ones and they were moving up to the next class next week. She said she thought their aggression came from them being bored in the younger classroom.

It seemed like every day I picked up Sophia from daycare a teacher would comment about her biting, they'd mention that she didn't bite today, or that she did, and that gave me the impression Sophia's behavior was of concern; otherwise, why would they be bringing it up everyday? I think they were bringing it up because of my own concern about her biting.

I don't understand the whole biting thing. To me, it seems so weird that anyone would have a reaction to bite someone because they took a toy away from them or they didn't want to play with them. If I was upset at my co-worker and bit them, I'm sure there would be a lawsuit to follow. (Watch, my mom will read this and tell me that I was a problem biter as a child!)
Either way, I feel much better about my own daughter's behavior. I know that Sophia is not an alpha female and there is no power struggle in her daycare. I also know there is no biting problem in the class and that Sophia is not overly aggressive.

I probably could have known all of this earlier had I talked to the teachers more closely. I thought I was close to the teachers and that I was keeping the lines open, but sometimes it takes more than simple conversation to truly understand what's going on in my children's school.

It's a learning experience and I have to take it that way. One day I'm going to have to go to parent-teacher conferences and I'm going to have notes sent home about my son or daughter not doing their homework or whatever. I'd like to be a parent that the teachers know every year in every school. I'd like to know all the teachers on a first name basis and I'd like to have a lot of contact with them. I know this will get harder and harder as my children advance in grades and by high school I probably won't be introduced personally to every teacher, but I'd like to be as involved as possible for as long as possible. That, to me, is what is going to help my children do their best in school.

The greatest compliment

When my kids are screaming and crying in public, I can look around and see the faces of bystanders and know exactly what they're thinking. They don't need to say a word, I know, my kids are acting out and causing a scene. But when my kids are really well-behaved, it often means they are dropped off the radar and no one reacts to them. However, last night I was complimented on their good behavior -- twice.

As a woman, you may be complimented on a variety of things, "Nice shoes," "I love your hair," "Where did you get that bag?" all of these serve to make her feel good. But honestly, as good as I feel when I'm complimented on something like that, I swell with pride when I get a compliment about Sophia and Ryan. And nothing feels better than that.

Last night, my husband got done work early and met me at daycare to help pick up the kids and go out to dinner. It was a bold suggestion to go out at the end of the day because the odds that the kids would be tired and cranky were infinitely greater. Plus, it was high dinner time (between 5 and 6 p.m.) and usually when we go out to dinner we try to go early -- like 4 p.m. early -- because most restaurants are not busy then and if the kids are bad there are fewer diners to bother. But we really need to go food shopping and I didn't feel like scraping together leftovers for dinner so we went out anyway.

When we got to the restaurant, the hostess seated us at a table … in the center of the room. All eyes were on us as we settled into our seats. We were surrounded by couples who were expecting the worst, I could tell even the waiter was anxious about us. Right away he asked if we wanted drinks, so we ordered Sophia's meal with our drinks and asked him not to wait to bring it out with our meals. So applesauce and macaroni and cheese arrived promptly. It was fast enough that she didn't have time to get bored with coloring the kids' menu. Ryan sat in a highchair and I fed him his dinner while we waited for our meals.

Dinner went smoother than we could ever have imagined. Sophia was pleasant and didn't yell or scream to get out of the booster seat and Ryan didn't cry once. Midway through our meal, the couple sitting next to us got up to leave and the man came to our table and said we had beautiful children. "Your children are beautiful," he said. "Excuse me if I was staring, I can't believe how beautiful they are." OK, I'll admit it was a little creepy, but if they were screaming and crying, they most certainly wouldn't be beautiful. Besides, he is right, they are adorable.

An older couple was then seated at the newly empty table. As we were finishing our dinner and packing the leftovers, the gentleman looked at us and said, "Your children are so well-behaved."

You can't believe how proud -- and anxious -- I was at that very moment. With two compliments under our belt and an hour in the restaurant, I thought it was best to get out while we were ahead. The tide of good behavior can change quickly and I didn't want to risk the meltdown I was sure would happen if we stayed a minute longer.

We left without incident. After we put the kids in the car, my husband high-fived me. Yup, we rule, our kids were awesome and we couldn't have been happier.

Positive attitude

I'm pretty sure my kids are too young to fake being sick to get out of going to school, but some days I'm not so sure about that.

On Friday I took Ryan for his 6 month check up and, as expected, he got a bunch of vaccines. Well, Friday night and Saturday, he had a fever, diarrhea and vomiting. On Sunday he had one more bout of diarrhea and this morning he seemed just fine. When I dropped him off at daycare, I told them about our big weekend and they told me they have a virus going around with the same symptoms. Oh, boy.

As soon as I walked in to work and put my pocketbook on my desk my cell phone rang. It was daycare, Ryan was projectile vomiting. One of his teachers said he should work in special effects because the puke just kept spewing. So I turned right around and walked out. My boss hadn't even seen me come in, so I didn't bother announcing my arrival. I was gone in a flash.

When I picked him up, I was handed his puke-covered clothes and when I went over to Ryan's crib to pick him up, there he was, smiling away like he was going to the fair. His eyes looked bright and his smile was huge. What a big faker!

I'd like to count my blessings that both my kids are generally happy all the time. Even when Ryan was in the hospital with RSV he was laughing and smiling at the nurses. The nurses at the pediatrician also comment, "oh, I remember this little guy. He was the one who was so sick but still so happy."

I don't want to jinks myself, but sometimes it's not such a good thing that they are so happy because it's hard to tell when they're really, really sick. The doctors always say that you can tell how sick your baby is by the way he or she is acting. This is not so for my kids.

When Sophia even gets the slightest cold, she gets a fever that spikes to 103 or 104. Always, without fail. She will be laughing and playing and it's not until I pick her up that I can feel how warm she really is. It's frustrating because I end up always dropping my kids off at daycare and then they're always being sent home sick. I think Ryan's going for a record number of sent homes. We must be well past six for this year alone.

I guess I should just stop complaining and be thankful I have happy kids. I just wish they were always healthy, too. Oh, the picture of Ryan in this post is of him sitting next to me as I type this. He looks way sick, doesn't he?

One hot mama

OK, I'll admit it, the best part about Sophia learning how to talk is making her say silly things. There are days when she will say almost anything I ask her to say. Other days, she won't say a single word. Last night she was a motor mouth.

A couple of weeks ago, we taught her to say "cool, baby." It's very cute, especially when she points and tries to wink when she says it. Over the weekend, Sophia learned "hot mama."

The day I tried to teach her she wouldn't say it at all. She just laughed like I was nuts. Well, it must have stuck because when I picked her up from daycare yesterday, she was all about "hot mama."

In the car, it was hot mama, hot mama, hot mama, until I turned to hand her a cookie and dropped it. "Oh, man," is what I said.

"Oh, man, hot mama, hot mama," I heard the rest of the way home.

Presented in front of me was an opportunity I couldn't resist.

"Who's a hot mama?" I asked. "Mommy!"

Yes! I've made it. I am now one hot mama.

Toddler wars

Yesterday I picked up the kids from daycare and lo and behold I received an incident report about Sophia biting another child. Frankly, I'm tired of it. None of the teachers seem to be overly concerned about it and I'm tired of being the only one who is concerned. But that won't stop me from trying to figure out why Sophia is biting her friends at school and how to stop it.

For the first time, the report I got yesterday contained useful information. Usually I get a letter that says, "Sophia was playing with another child and she bit the child on the hand (arm, nose, finger, etc.). We told Sophia that biting is not nice and she said she was sorry." This time the letter explained that Sophia was playing with a toy and another child tried to take it from her and Sophia wouldn't give it up. The other child persisted and Sophia bit the child. Feeling her authority, Sophia decided she didn't want a different child in the area where she was playing and tried to remove the child. When the child wouldn't leave, Sophia bit them. The teacher said she removed Sophia from the situation, told her biting was mean and it hurts her friends and Sophia said she was sorry for biting.

Of course I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

Last week, Sophia came home from school with a bite mark on the back of her left shoulder and an incident report explaining that she was bit by a child. The week before she came home with a scratch across her face one day (no report) and another day she had a deep cut on the back of her head (again, no report).

My theory is that there is a war going on in that classroom and the teachers are completely unaware of the dynamics. I have been told by one of the teachers that the group of children in Sophia's class is particularly feisty. I don't think Sophia's biting is because she's defending herself, but I do believe she is reacting to the atmosphere of the classroom. Basically, I think what started out as a phase and should have been quickly over has turned into a long, drawn out ordeal because of an underground toddler war. And because Sophia's biting has been well-documented, the teachers are focusing on that and missing a lot of other "incidences."

I mentioned my theory, or at least the non-crazy mom version of it, to one of the teachers after Sophia came home with the gash on the back of her head and no incident report. I showed the teacher the cut on Sophia's head and she seemed completely surprised by the injury. Since then, I have gotten notices that Sophia has been hurt by other children mixed in with Sophia's biting reports.

In the meantime, Sophia absolutely loves going to daycare (aka: school). Everytime we put on her coat, get in the car or take out my keys - day or night - she asks about going to school. I'd like to continue to encourage her love of school, but I'm afraid this war has potential to damage this. She loves going to play with her friends and she's always saying their names. How do I discipline an action that only takes place at daycare and encourage her love of going to school?

The war continues.

**Update, update. I talked to Sophia's teacher and things aren't as bad I thought.**

Baby love

Since my daughter was born, we have been fanatical about taking her picture. Every time she does anything, we take a picture.

When I got pregnant with Ryan, my mom warned that we probably wouldn't take as many pictures of Ryan as we did Sophia. Well, in his first 24 hours of life, we took more than 200 pictures of our new little guy. The only difference between having one and two children is that I don't have as much time to share as many pictures as often with my family.

Over the weekend, we got a new camera, so we took this opportunity to back up the photos on our computer. We have more than 3,000 pictures chronicling the lives of our children.

Our pictures range from playing at the park to "photo shoots" at the dinner table. If Ryan is playing on the floor looking particularly cute, we pull out the camera. Sophia has a cute outfit on or she lets me put barrettes in her hair, out pops the camera.

From the day Sophia was born , that is about 5 pictures per day … of the kids. Sophia runs up to the camera every time it comes out and says "Cheese." She loves the camera and is always performing for it. Ryan is still little, but we're working on him.

Every single morning, we dress Sophia and she models her outfit for her Daddy. Little boy clothes are not nearly as cute as little girl's, but we make sure Ryan knows that he looks super cute too.

Am I training my children to be vain and narcissistic, or just proud of how they look? We're going for proud.

I think my own parents have maybe 500 pictures of our entire family. My mom is always "mentioning" that we don't have any studio pictures of the kids. The only "professional" photo I have of Sophia is her school photo and it's cute, but not the best. She looks … concerned. When you take so many pictures, you are bound to get a really great picture. A picture, in my opinion, that's better than Sears or the Picture People could ever take.

New top dog in town

Last week, Sophia moved from the 13 to 18 month old room at daycare to the 19 to 24 month old room. It was a big move because now she is playing with the big kids.

After only one week in the room, she is already in a fight for the alpha dog position, and I'm afraid she is going to win it.

On top of being strong-willed and extremely independent, she can be a little aggressive. She's a biter.

We've been dealing with the biting problem since Sophia cut her first couple of teeth. Until last week, I wasn't exactly sure why she was biting. Some of the reasons for her biting I came up with were pain from cutting teeth, sleepiness and jealousy. Now, I'm pretty sure it's status.
At almost 35 inches tall and maybe 22 pounds, Sophia is lean and mean. Teachers tell me how she corrects the other children, picks up after them and keeps an eye on empty sippy cups. If she notices a child is running low on juice, she will take it to a teacher and get it refilled. When a child cries, she goes over to them and pats their shoulder and tries to comfort them.

Apparently, she can be a kind and generous leader, but if one of her friends gets out of line by taking a toy from her, playing with something she wants or defies her in anyway, she will bite them. When I picked her up from school last Thursday, the teachers had just stopped her from biting another child.

I don't want her to hurt another child. I would say 95 percent of the time she is wonderful at school and plays nicely with her friends. It's that 5 percent of the time that I worry she is going to really hurt someone.

Babysitter blues

With Valentine's Day only a week away, my thoughts turn to baby sitting. I recently recruited one of Sophia and Ryan's part-time daycare teachers to baby sit for me. I last spoke with her in January before she went back to college. During that phone call we chatted about her work at the daycare, how she loves kids and wants to be a teacher and … how much she charges to baby sit: $10 an hour.

Like many girls, I did a lot baby sitting during college. It was a good way to make a couple extra bucks, and in some cases, a lot of extra money. I enjoyed the extra money, but now that I'm looking for my own baby sitter, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around $10 an hour.

Not that my kids aren't worth it, but the thought of paying someone $10 an hour to sit in my house while my kids are sleeping is a bit hard to swallow. I think if my kids were older and she had to give them dinner and get them to bed, the responsibilities would be greater and I would feel better about them cost.

So, here's what I've been thinking. I could ask the girl to come to my house during the day so my husband and I could have a midday date. This way the kids would be awake and she would have more responsibilities and I would feel better about parting with $10 an hour. We could go to a nice place for lunch, but somehow ordering a bottle of wine and having a romantic LUNCH doesn't exactly sound, well, romantic.

We could just bite the bullet and pay the girl to sit at our house, but most likely we will put the kids to bed early, open a nice bottle of wine and cook dinner for ourselves. Our kitchen table may not be the most romantic setting, but we'll make due.

Nights and weekends

Last week I reported that Ryan had slept through the night. He slept pretty well almost every night last week, that is, until the weekend.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, Ryan was up at least once in the middle of the night. Friday night he woke at 11:45 p.m., Saturday night it was 1:30 a.m. and Sunday night it was 4 a.m. I don't know what we are doing different at home that makes it so hard for him to sleep at night.

Sophia is the same way with her afternoon nap. At school, she naps from 12:30 to 3 p.m. She sleeps on a mat with a blanket. They eat lunch around 11:30 a.m. and everyone lays down for naps at 12:30. According to the teachers, she is a great sleeper and often they have to wake her at the end of nap time. Over the weekend, we have lunch at 11:30 and nap at 12:30, but she will only sleep for 45 minutes. If I'm really, really lucky and she is really, really tired, she will sleep for an hour and a half, but that hardly ever happens. Oh, and I've tried to let her sleep on the floor instead of her crib at home; that didn't work AT ALL.

As far as Ryan is concerned, he takes two pretty good naps during the day and goes to bed with the same routine every day. Maybe he is sleeping too much during the day and that's why he wakes during the night? I really don't know. Maybe he just loves being home with Mommy and Daddy so much that he can't wait to wake up in the middle of the night to see us. Yeah, that's it.

I wonder if other parent's have this same problem, or if this is unique to my family?

My daughter the car demon

Sophia hates being in the car. She always has. She cried on the way home from the hospital and this trend has continued ever since. This problem was briefly corrected when she moved into a forward-facing car seat, but when I say briefly, I mean she was OK in the car for about a week.

Everyday I listen to her yell, scream and kick. I've tried all types of kids music, audio books and food to distract her. I've tried talking to her, ignoring her and I've even resorted to yelling back at her on more than one occasion.

For a while I was able to pacify her on the way home from daycare with a cookie or two (or five or six). This has backfired on me -- big time. As soon as her bottom touches the car seat she starts asking for a cookie and it gradually escalates to crying and whining until I can get into the driver's seat and tell her to say please, and hand her two cookie. One for each hand.

Several cookies later she wants juice. I can't refill her sippy cup while I'm driving so she freaks out until we get home. As soon as we pull into the driveway she is all smiles again. If you look in the back seat you'll see most of the cookies are in pieces all over the floor. It's not the cookies she really wants, but what she wants is anyone's guess.

I don't understand her aversion to the car. We've never been in an accident and I don't drive erratically. Ryan falls asleep as soon as the car starts running -- he's an angel for sleeping through his sister's tantrums.

I think the car is a perfect place for families to talk to each other so I've been hesitant about getting a DVD player for the back seat, but the idea has crossed my mind.

Sometimes while she's in a heated screaming match with herself, I imagine her at 6 or 7 years old screaming like a banshee in the back seat, while her little brother yells at her to shut up. I get chills just thinking about it.

For now, I know the farthest we can drive is 45 minutes before I need to get out of the car. Maybe when she moves to a booster seat she will be more comfortable and our problem will be solved.

Sick day

It’s often said that busy moms don’t have time to be sick. I have said it myself. I’ve got to keep my sick days for when my kids are sick, I can’t use them when I’m actually sick.

In just the last month I’ve dragged myself into work with everything from laryngitis to a stomach virus, all of which I am sure my co-workers have loved being exposed to.

Since the beginning of the year I haven’t been completely healthy. I blame this on the lack of sleep making my body unable to heal itself because it’s too busy keeping me awake.

New moms tend not to sleep well for weeks, even months after the baby is born. Couple that with trying to heal from the trauma of child birth and playing the role of supermom, and many moms find that complete exhaustion sets in pretty quickly.

I am no different.

I haven’t sat still in months. I was carrying my daughter around the hospital within 24 hours of giving birth to my son. When we came home from the hospital, there was no time for me to sit in bed and recover; I had to hit the ground running, regardless of the doctor’s advice. My daughter was 14 months old and she needed her mommy and daddy and it didn’t matter to her that we just brought home a new baby.

So, here I sit, after nearly four months of running in high gear I have been forced to take a day off. After neglecting my own health for so long, my body has turned against me and a little cold has completely knocked me out. My husband brought the kids to daycare and left me at home with orders to get some sleep.

It’s going to be tough. Even as I sit here writing this, I’m thinking that I could still go into work. But that will not help me and I’ll probably just get sick again next week.

With my focus completely on my kids, it’s so easy to forget to take care of myself, and when I do, I feel guilty about it. The thing is that it’s so important that we, as parents, stay healthy so that we can be great parents and reliable employees.

So, today I will curl up with a cup of tea, take a very long nap and, hopefully, revitalize so I can make it the rest of the year without using another sick day for myself.

Sorry to see you leave

I just learned that today was one of Sophia's teacher's last day. No one told me, I happened to be in one of the classrooms when the teachers were signing a balloon for the departing teacher that said "Miss You."

As I was leaving, I saw the teacher by the door and wished her well. She said that was leaving because she was moving. She seemed sad.

I am also sad. It's hard because I trust these women to take care of my most precious possessions and in return they make me feel like they love my children more than all the others. I like the feeling that I'm leaving my children in the hands of people who honestly and truly care about the welfare of my children and that their job is not just a paycheck to them.

I believe that the people who care for my children while I'm at work have a direct effect on their personality. Picking a daycare was not a choice I made lightly. Because my children are so young, these women are not only changing their diapers and feeding them, but they are also helping to mold their personality. They give my kids the personal interaction that I am not able to give them while I'm at work.

If I didn't like these women personally I would have taken my children out of this daycare. But opening myself up to these feelings for my daycare provider also makes me vulnerable to sadness and disappointment when one of them leaves.

I hope it's a long time before another teacher leaves.