Oh my God, make him stop crying

Sorry if I’ve been a little quiet these last couple of days, but Ryan woke up at 1 a.m. Friday with a fever of 104 that wouldn’t go down. I called the doctor Friday morning, Friday night and again on Saturday when they finally told me I should bring him in Sunday morning, which I did. They said he has a mild ear infection and he must have some kind of virus that is causing his high fever. It got as high as 105.5 several times over the weekend.

The poor little guy has been so uncomfortable. BUT, the thing is now, right now at this very moment, he has no fever at all. I guess the mad scientist (doctor recommended) concoction of Tylenol and Motrin did the trick. But he won’t stop crying.

Why won’t he stop crying?!

He won’t eat. He won’t drink. He doesn’t even stop crying when I hold him, which I’ve been doing pretty much constantly since Friday. I just now put him to bed, hoping he’s just tired, but he’s still crying.

It’s not an “I’m in pain” kind of cry. He doesn’t sound like he’s in distress, it’s just a cry. A sad, heart-wrenching cry that I’ve been listening to for what seems to be forever. It’s a cry that all you want to do is pick him up and fix whatever it is that is making him cry. But nothing I’m doing is making the cry stop.

Wait. Listen. I think he finally fell asleep.

Ah. Nope, he’s still whimpering.

At least he’s not crying.

Oh hey, now that I’ve gotten that all out, in case you missed it, take a little trip to Sunshine’s today and read my guest post about vacationing in my home state of Pennsylvania.

Great. I’m now off to bask in pleasant silence as I’m pretty sure Ryan finally fell back to sleep.

Wish me luck.

The restaurant scene

After being stuck in the house and feeling sick last week, we decided to go out Saturday. No one was feeling 100 percent yet, but my husband and I were desperate to get out of the house. Between the sicknesses and the snow, we had a severe case of cabin fever. So we packed up the babies and my stepson and invited my aunt to meet us at a restaurant for an early dinner.

It started off very well. Sophia was well-behaved and actually eating and Ryan sat happily in his car seat, but this lasted for about 10 minutes.

Before our food even came to the table Ryan had enough of sitting in the car seat. I picked him up and he ate a little, but before long he was tired. He still wasn't feeling great and he was ready for another nap.

From the beginning, we've been very consistent that when Ryan is tired, we lay him down so he can fall asleep. We don't rock him to sleep and we don't feed him to sleep. Because of this, he's generally good at getting himself to sleep. (We're still working on getting him to fall back to sleep after waking in the middle of the night, but we're talking small victories here)

Anyway, in the restaurant, Ryan is tired and letting the entire restaurant know that he needs a nap. He doesn't want to be held, he won't take a bottle and he didn't want baby food. If we stood up with him and walked around he'd quiet for a bit and then start screaming again.

He wanted to lay down and go to sleep. Nothing else would soothe him.

When our food got to the table, one of us shoved some food in our mouths while the other held the baby. With the addition of my aunt and stepson, Sophia was kept occupied and my aunt helped hold Ryan. But this doesn't fly for very long out in public.

After about 10 minutes, I'm sweating, nervous and really ready to go home. I feel like we are making a scene. I just want to leave so that all the good people around us can eat in peace. I take the baby from my husband and stand up, knocking the car seat off the chair and onto the floor with a loud bang. A nice woman at a table next to us ran over to help pick up the car seat.

Now I know we're making a scene and it's time to go.

But we still have to pack up the kids and pay the bill, so my husband puts Ryan's jacket on and takes him outside. At this point, Ryan is screaming uncontrollably as the hostess seats a nice family on either side of our table.

With Ryan outside I can think. I look up and see Sophia standing up in the high chair trying to climb out.

Like lightening, we put on Sophia's coat, grab our stuff, pay the bill and race out the door. As soon as the car is on, Ryan stops crying.

If we were at home, we would have put Ryan in his crib and he would've fallen asleep and we would have had a peaceful dinner. So, we'll be eating in for now, until cabin fever sets in again and we forget how bad it really is to take the kids out to dinner.

Not ready for 2

On Sunday, Sophia turned 19 months. It may not seem like a big deal, but she is now more than half way to 2 and I am totally not ready.

She has already started to test her boundaries. Last week, I took Sophia and Ryan to our friend’s house to meet her new baby and Sophia was as good as could be expected. Of course, we had a little behavioral breakdown right before we left because she wanted to stand up on the kitchen chairs and, silly me, I didn’t think that was a safe activity for my little girl. So, a little temper tantrum occurred, but it was mild and I didn’t even really think about it until my friend and I started talking about how Sophia was “strong willed and very independent.”

I kind of laughed when I said that Sophia is so strong-willed that most times my husband and I give in well before she gives up. In fact, we try to be very consistent in our discipline, but the truth is that Sophia rules the house. The worst is when I’m correcting her and she starts laughing. I can’t help but laugh. She is so cute that I have to turn my head and make sure she doesn’t see me smile. Somehow, I’m sure my, “Sophia, this is not funny,” isn’t getting through to her.

At the suggestion of my friend, I went online and found a ton of web sites devoted to disciplining the strong-willed child. I’d like to say I will read every one of them so that I can be completely educated on the subject, but the truth is that I don’t really have time to devote to this research, especially since I don’t believe Sophia is a problem.

I think it’s good for Sophia to be strong-willed and independent and to really know what she wants and what she doesn’t want. I like that in her and I think it’s a quality that will be very useful to her as an adult. I love the fact that she is speaking in full sentences at 19 months and I attribute that to her being determined to let us know exactly what she wants. Sometimes it’s a little tough for us to figure out what she wants and she gets frustrated, but she doesn’t freak out or yell at us or get angry, she throws a little tantrum and what 2-year-old doesn’t.

So I say to Sophia, we will continue to set boundaries for you and I’m sure you will continue to test them. It’s only the beginning.

My daughter the car demon

Sophia hates being in the car. She always has. She cried on the way home from the hospital and this trend has continued ever since. This problem was briefly corrected when she moved into a forward-facing car seat, but when I say briefly, I mean she was OK in the car for about a week.

Everyday I listen to her yell, scream and kick. I've tried all types of kids music, audio books and food to distract her. I've tried talking to her, ignoring her and I've even resorted to yelling back at her on more than one occasion.

For a while I was able to pacify her on the way home from daycare with a cookie or two (or five or six). This has backfired on me -- big time. As soon as her bottom touches the car seat she starts asking for a cookie and it gradually escalates to crying and whining until I can get into the driver's seat and tell her to say please, and hand her two cookie. One for each hand.

Several cookies later she wants juice. I can't refill her sippy cup while I'm driving so she freaks out until we get home. As soon as we pull into the driveway she is all smiles again. If you look in the back seat you'll see most of the cookies are in pieces all over the floor. It's not the cookies she really wants, but what she wants is anyone's guess.

I don't understand her aversion to the car. We've never been in an accident and I don't drive erratically. Ryan falls asleep as soon as the car starts running -- he's an angel for sleeping through his sister's tantrums.

I think the car is a perfect place for families to talk to each other so I've been hesitant about getting a DVD player for the back seat, but the idea has crossed my mind.

Sometimes while she's in a heated screaming match with herself, I imagine her at 6 or 7 years old screaming like a banshee in the back seat, while her little brother yells at her to shut up. I get chills just thinking about it.

For now, I know the farthest we can drive is 45 minutes before I need to get out of the car. Maybe when she moves to a booster seat she will be more comfortable and our problem will be solved.

Good morning!

I'm obsessed with sleep. I'm always talking about it and every night I can't wait to do it. And after last night, it looks like I may be able to stop obsessing.

We woke this morning, like every morning, to the cry of a baby, but this morning it was Sophia and this morning it was 7:30.

Last night, Ryan slept through the whole night. When we woke up and realized that neither of us got up with him, our first instinct was to make sure he was OK, but our survival instincts kicked in and we thought better than to go into his room and potentially wake him.

That lasted 15 minutes before the urge to make sure our son was still breathing became overwhelming. At 7:45 a.m., my husband tip-toed into Ryan's room and found our little boy awake and smiling. He must have slept well.

In my experience, that first full night of sleep is stressful in the morning. Instead of waking up feeling well-rested, I wake up and feel anxiety.

Sophia first slept through the night when she was one month old, and since then, with the occasional exception, she has always been a good sleeper. But even now, if we wake up before her, we have to channel all our willpower to not run into her room and check on her.

I don't want to jinx it, but I'm hoping that last night wasn't a fluke and that tonight, tomorrow night and every night after, Ryan and his big sister sleep soundly through the night. It will help everyone feel better, but it won't stop us from worrying about our kids -- I know that will never happen.

My not-so girly girl

When do little girls start to like to do girly things? Sophia hates getting her nails cut. She completely freaks out. I feel like I'm torturing her because we have to hold her still to cut them. It's emotionally and physically painful for both of us, but it has to be done.

This weekend, in the midst of everything that went on with my son, we had to cut Sophia's nails. They were starting to get dangerous. So I pulled out some nail polish, a nail file and the nail clippers and sat on the floor with her and tried my best to make the experience fun.

It was an absolute failure.

She was interested in the nail polish, but only if she was doing the painting … all over her feet. Not a single drop got on her nails. She wouldn't let me near her nails. After 45 minutes of trying to get her to play manicure, I caved and just held her down and cut them because she can't go to daycare with daggers for finger nails and I had other things to do that day.

It's the screaming that gets to me. I feel awful, but it's a basic hygienic need. How do I get her to enjoy the experience? She wasn't always like this. I used to be able to put on an Elmo video and cut her nails in no time. Elmo can't even save me now. She hasn't even had her first haircut because I am so nervous about how she will react. Fortunately, her hair has been slow coming in, but my time is running out and she is going to need one very soon.

She's obsessed with shoes, in fact, shoe was one of her first words (that's MY girl!), but that's as girly as she gets. She did let me put pigtails in her hair once (see photo as proof), but they were short-lived and I think they made her crazy.

She is perfectly happy wrestling on the floor with my husband. She loves being thrown in the air and she loves to be startled. One of her favorite games is hide and seek when the hider jumps out and scares her. This boggles my mind, shouldn't she be at least a little scared? Nope, she loves it and she is always hiding herself and jumping out and trying to scare us.

I guess I'll just have to wait a little longer and if it never happens, that's OK. I guess she doesn't have to be a girly girl.