Where the wild things live

She is fearless. I, however, am not. This past weekend, Sophia's wild side made its grand debut and it looks like it's going to stay. On top of the near drowning on Saturday, she did a cartwheel off the couch Sunday night.

Should she even be able to do a cartwheel yet? Summersault, yes, she can do that. I even expected her to be able to do that, but a cartwheel?

Off the couch?

I don't think so.

She is strong-willed, opinionated and completely unstoppable. On Friday, I asked her to stop running and walk. She made it about 5 steps before she started running again. Honestly, I'm not even sure she can walk. I mean, she must be able to walk, but she doesn't.

I'm always chasing her, trying to get her to eat, change her diaper, get her dressed. Even getting her in the bathtub is a chase through the hallway. Turn your head and swoosh, she's gone. My house is a cage, not nearly big enough to contain her boundless energy.

I can't stop it, nor do I want to stop it, but I'd like to tone it down a bit. This morning she tried to sit on top of Ryan while he was crawling.

Ah, my beautiful little baby Ryan. Have I mentioned that he's a mountain climber in training? No? Well, he is. He's already an experienced stair climber with the ability to climb up and over almost any obstacle that stands in his way. In a moment that shined a light on my inexperience, I left Sophia and Ryan alone, together in my bedroom for two minutes. When I came back, I found Ryan sitting on my bed. From the floor, he climbed onto the chest at the foot of my bed and then managed to pull himself up onto my bed.

You wanna know Where The Wild Things Are? There's two and they live in my house. My bets are on a trip to the emergency room before the end of this summer … for me when I have a heart attack.

This is so gross, but I have to share anyway

This morning, while Ryan was crawling on the floor in Sophia's room, Jon noticed Ryan was chewing on something. It's usually a carpet fiber, so when Jon reached into Ryan's mouth and pulled out a wasp, he completely freaked out.

How completely and totally gross is that? Bleh.

I'll pause to allow you time to regain control of your gag reflex.

The bigger problem now is that we had a wasp in the house. Oh my god, we had a wasp in the house!

I've seen these wasps before. The first time was right after Sophia was born, I was sitting in her room nursing her and a wasp flew across the room to the window right next to me. Having a baby stuck to me, I just stayed stilled and prayed it wouldn't notice us. When Sophia was finished her meal, I looked for the wasp in the curtains and couldn't find it. I have no idea where it went, but it was gone, and I was thankful for that. During the past year, I've seen a handful of these wasps making there way through our house. There's been about three in Sophia's room and maybe one or two in the rest of the house. Always alive. This is the first one we've seen this season, and it was dead. Or at least it was after Ryan was finished with it.

Eww. Gross.

We've looked for their nest and we can't find one. We've tried to figure out where they're coming in and we can't find any holes to the outside. We recently insulated the attic and there was no sign of a wasp nest.

But don't worry; we have Ryan to clean up their carcasses.

Eww! Gross!

I'm trying not to gag just thinking about it. Sorry, I had to share. It is definitely time to call in reinforcements to handle this.

When the ball gets rolling, how do you make it stop?

Ryan had a huge weekend, and on the surface it seems wonderful, but the more I obsess over it, the scarier the reality of his recent progresses is becoming.

Last Thursday night, Ryan sat himself up. I've suspected he could do this for weeks now, but he just hadn't felt the need to do it himself. He was getting by quite fine by screaming and crying when he was tired of crawling. Thursday night, however, he decided to do it himself. This, my friends, was the beginning of his big weekend.

Friday morning, Ryan pulled himself to the standing position. It was 7 a.m., about 13 hours from his last monumental step. Only half jokingly, I said, "Well, I guess he'll be walking by Monday."
Don't worry, it's Monday and he is still not walking, but, my god, he thinks he can. He's ready, that's for sure. He just needs to work on his balance.

But wait, there is more. While sitting at my desk at work Sunday night, Jon called me to tell me that Ryan said "Daddy."

Not Dada, Daddy. And no, he hasn't said Mommy or Mama or anything even remotely close to it yet. No worries, I know once "Mommy" starts it will never stop.

As the story goes, Jon and the kids were playing on the living room floor (a.k.a.: Jon was laying on the floor and the kids were using him as a jungle gym) and Ryan gets right in front of Jon's face, looks right in his eyes and says, "Daddy."

Sophia even heard it and responded in typical fashion, "No, my Daddy." Oh, boy.

How on earth am I supposed to absorb all this growth so quickly? When Ryan was born, I made it very clear to anyone who would listen, that I couldn't wait for him to be mobile so he could play with Sophia. Now that the reality of that statement is here, I can't believe how quickly my little baby is becoming a toddler. He's not there yet, but I know it's going to happen sooner than I'm prepared for it to get here.

My little babies are growing up too quickly. In no time, I'll be sending them to college. I wish I could keep them little longer.

Probably worried about nothing

Did you ever have one of those days where you think you might just be crazy? Today is one of those days.

During the last couple of days, my husband and I noticed that it seemed Ryan was not hearing. When we'd call his name, he wouldn't look at us and sometimes, no matter how loud we talked, he wouldn't look at us until we waved our hand or made some kind of motion. So, naturally, we were concerned, but not concerned enough to rush him to the doctor because he is babbling and making lots of noise.

Last night, however, Jon and I were discussing his hearing, and I found this Web site with risk factors of hearing loss in babies. I went through and read all of risk factors. Some of the risk factors mentioned on the I thought Ryan was experiencing are does not awaken to loud noises, does not freely imitate sound (unless you count the unending da da da da he says), cannot be soothed by voice alone, does not turn his/her head in the direction of my voice and does not point to familiar persons or objects when asked.

At the bottom of the site, it says if your baby has any of these symptoms, they are at risk for hearing loss.

This is when I started to get concerned.

So when I dropped him off at daycare this morning, I asked the teacher if she noticed any hearing loss and to keep an eye on it for me. Immediately, she sat on the floor next to him. She said his name and right away he turned to look at her. He heard her, no doubt.

While I stood there, feeling like a complete idiot, she continued to talk to me and Ryan and Ryan kept turning away from her and then looking back at her when she started talking again.

She did not dismiss my concern and said I should have a doctor test his hearing just to be sure.

Moral of the story: Get used to the kids making me feel like an idiot. This isn't the first time and it won't be the last, but don't ever disregard maternal instinct.

Toddler wars

Yesterday I picked up the kids from daycare and lo and behold I received an incident report about Sophia biting another child. Frankly, I'm tired of it. None of the teachers seem to be overly concerned about it and I'm tired of being the only one who is concerned. But that won't stop me from trying to figure out why Sophia is biting her friends at school and how to stop it.

For the first time, the report I got yesterday contained useful information. Usually I get a letter that says, "Sophia was playing with another child and she bit the child on the hand (arm, nose, finger, etc.). We told Sophia that biting is not nice and she said she was sorry." This time the letter explained that Sophia was playing with a toy and another child tried to take it from her and Sophia wouldn't give it up. The other child persisted and Sophia bit the child. Feeling her authority, Sophia decided she didn't want a different child in the area where she was playing and tried to remove the child. When the child wouldn't leave, Sophia bit them. The teacher said she removed Sophia from the situation, told her biting was mean and it hurts her friends and Sophia said she was sorry for biting.

Of course I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

Last week, Sophia came home from school with a bite mark on the back of her left shoulder and an incident report explaining that she was bit by a child. The week before she came home with a scratch across her face one day (no report) and another day she had a deep cut on the back of her head (again, no report).

My theory is that there is a war going on in that classroom and the teachers are completely unaware of the dynamics. I have been told by one of the teachers that the group of children in Sophia's class is particularly feisty. I don't think Sophia's biting is because she's defending herself, but I do believe she is reacting to the atmosphere of the classroom. Basically, I think what started out as a phase and should have been quickly over has turned into a long, drawn out ordeal because of an underground toddler war. And because Sophia's biting has been well-documented, the teachers are focusing on that and missing a lot of other "incidences."

I mentioned my theory, or at least the non-crazy mom version of it, to one of the teachers after Sophia came home with the gash on the back of her head and no incident report. I showed the teacher the cut on Sophia's head and she seemed completely surprised by the injury. Since then, I have gotten notices that Sophia has been hurt by other children mixed in with Sophia's biting reports.

In the meantime, Sophia absolutely loves going to daycare (aka: school). Everytime we put on her coat, get in the car or take out my keys - day or night - she asks about going to school. I'd like to continue to encourage her love of school, but I'm afraid this war has potential to damage this. She loves going to play with her friends and she's always saying their names. How do I discipline an action that only takes place at daycare and encourage her love of going to school?

The war continues.

**Update, update. I talked to Sophia's teacher and things aren't as bad I thought.**

No need to be nervous

I began this weekend in a complete frenzy. I was anxious and nervous and a little angry. My husband was leaving at 3 a.m. Friday morning for a four day, three night trip to Cancun with couple of guys from work ... during Spring Break.

Before I go any further, I didn't realize it was Spring Break until he got down there and told me and I'm not, and never was worried about his fidelity, I only mention Spring Break because during that time in Cancun I can imagine there isn't going to be a boring second of the day.

His company rewards it's employees for their hard work by giving a few deserving an all expenses paid trip to a fancy resort in Cancun, Mexico, where they can kick back and relax. Unfortunately, they don't pay for the entire family to go so that meant I was looking at four days and three nights home, alone, with two very needy and very clingy children under the age of 2.

The longest I've been left alone with them is about 8 hours and that's about as long as I can keep it together before I need my husband to get home and help me take back control of the house. I'm their mother, I know I can take care of them, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't completely nervous.

Friday started out OK, I brought Sophia to daycare and Ryan and I stayed home and cleaned the entire house, top to bottom. I was trying to keep myself as busy as possible so that at the end of the day I would be exhausted and, therefore, not have any trouble sleeping alone in the house with the kids. Of course Sophia and Ryan both got up two times and as tired as I was managed about 4 hours total of sleep. It was a terrible start to the weekend and I was dreading the rest.

Saturday was a blessing. My former neighbor offered to watch both kids overnight so I could go out and get some much needed rest. If it wasn't for her I'm sure I would have lost my mind this weekend. At 2 p.m. on Saturday, I dropped off the kids. I went to dinner with some friends and came home and slept for 9 hours straight through. I think it's been years since I slept that long. I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for what was left of the weekend.

My aunt called me Sunday morning and offered to come over and hang out with the kids while I did some shopping. I took her up on the offer and she stayed with the kids for about two hours in the middle of the day.

It's now Sunday night and I feel like all the nervous energy I had about this weekend was silly. I spent a lot of time alone with the kids but not as much as I thought I would. I have a clean house, all the laundry and all the dishes are done and so far the kids are still asleep.

I'm not sure how the weekend would have been if I didn't have friends and family help me get through it, but I'm confident I would have managed and I'm thankful for that feeling. It means that tomorrow night when my husband comes home around 10 I can be happy to see him and glad he had a good time rather than being upset that he was out partying for an extended weekend.

It's amazing what one really good night of sleep can do for your self confidence.

The gift of a nice meal out

Yesterday was my birthday. The day started like any other day, but ended unlike any day I've had in a while. As part of my birthday present, my stepson came over after we put Sophia and Ryan to bed so my husband could take me out to dinner.

We went to a local hibachi restaurant and it was wonderful. The food was exceptional and the atmosphere was lively. After being seated, we ordered our food and poured ourselves a glass of wine and the evening went exactly as expected. No screaming babies, no breakdowns and no food drama. It was completely wonderful, and completely weird.

During our meal, I noticed that we were eating with a sense of urgency. We weren't stuffing our faces or anything, but we were eating quickly. When I pointed this out to my husband he laughed and we were then able to slow down and enjoy our meal. Still, it was hard to adjust to being out without the kids because we actually had to think about slowing down and enjoying our meal.

Before we had kids, my husband and I went out to eat all the time. We could easily spend hours and hours at a restaurant talking and savoring eat bite of food. But since our children were born, we don't go out very often and when we do, we usually go to a kid-friendly place that will serve us quickly so that we can get out before the kids have a meltdown. So, going out with my husband on a birthday "date" without the kids was a special and we really enjoyed ourselves.

While our evening wasn't the most elegant meal we've ever had, we had a great time. And that was a great birthday present.

Baby love

Since my daughter was born, we have been fanatical about taking her picture. Every time she does anything, we take a picture.

When I got pregnant with Ryan, my mom warned that we probably wouldn't take as many pictures of Ryan as we did Sophia. Well, in his first 24 hours of life, we took more than 200 pictures of our new little guy. The only difference between having one and two children is that I don't have as much time to share as many pictures as often with my family.

Over the weekend, we got a new camera, so we took this opportunity to back up the photos on our computer. We have more than 3,000 pictures chronicling the lives of our children.

Our pictures range from playing at the park to "photo shoots" at the dinner table. If Ryan is playing on the floor looking particularly cute, we pull out the camera. Sophia has a cute outfit on or she lets me put barrettes in her hair, out pops the camera.

From the day Sophia was born , that is about 5 pictures per day … of the kids. Sophia runs up to the camera every time it comes out and says "Cheese." She loves the camera and is always performing for it. Ryan is still little, but we're working on him.

Every single morning, we dress Sophia and she models her outfit for her Daddy. Little boy clothes are not nearly as cute as little girl's, but we make sure Ryan knows that he looks super cute too.

Am I training my children to be vain and narcissistic, or just proud of how they look? We're going for proud.

I think my own parents have maybe 500 pictures of our entire family. My mom is always "mentioning" that we don't have any studio pictures of the kids. The only "professional" photo I have of Sophia is her school photo and it's cute, but not the best. She looks … concerned. When you take so many pictures, you are bound to get a really great picture. A picture, in my opinion, that's better than Sears or the Picture People could ever take.

Play time all the time

Yesterday afternoon, my husband turned to me and said, "You know, we don't do anything but play with our kids all day long."

Ugh, I know.

That got me to thinking about our lifestyle and what it means for our kids. He's absolutely 100 percent right that we spend a lot of time playing with our kids, but I'm not exactly sure what else I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't think Sophia is old enough to be left to her own devices yet and Ryan still needs protection from his big sister's advances. So else is there?

We did the laundry. Our house is relatively clean and the dishes are done. Doing housework isn't exactly what I call a good time, so if it doesn't have to be done, it probably won't. It's the middle of the winter, so we can't really play outside. If there is a random nice day, I'll bring Sophia outside to play for a bit while Ryan sleeps or we'll take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood, but all of these activities involve me and my husband interacting with the kids.
All day long we are playing with the kids, whether we're coloring, playing hide and seek, feeding the baby or playing dress up, we are our kids constant playmates.

Our basement has been converted to a playroom/bedroom for my stepson, but I can't leave Ryan and Sophia done there alone. I think once Ryan is 2 and Sophia is 3, maybe I'll be able to let them play without my supervision, but until then I am the referee and team captain.

And for now, I don't think it's such a bad thing. There will be a time when my kids won't want to be near me, so I guess we should take advantage of this while we can.

New top dog in town

Last week, Sophia moved from the 13 to 18 month old room at daycare to the 19 to 24 month old room. It was a big move because now she is playing with the big kids.

After only one week in the room, she is already in a fight for the alpha dog position, and I'm afraid she is going to win it.

On top of being strong-willed and extremely independent, she can be a little aggressive. She's a biter.

We've been dealing with the biting problem since Sophia cut her first couple of teeth. Until last week, I wasn't exactly sure why she was biting. Some of the reasons for her biting I came up with were pain from cutting teeth, sleepiness and jealousy. Now, I'm pretty sure it's status.
At almost 35 inches tall and maybe 22 pounds, Sophia is lean and mean. Teachers tell me how she corrects the other children, picks up after them and keeps an eye on empty sippy cups. If she notices a child is running low on juice, she will take it to a teacher and get it refilled. When a child cries, she goes over to them and pats their shoulder and tries to comfort them.

Apparently, she can be a kind and generous leader, but if one of her friends gets out of line by taking a toy from her, playing with something she wants or defies her in anyway, she will bite them. When I picked her up from school last Thursday, the teachers had just stopped her from biting another child.

I don't want her to hurt another child. I would say 95 percent of the time she is wonderful at school and plays nicely with her friends. It's that 5 percent of the time that I worry she is going to really hurt someone.

Babysitter blues

With Valentine's Day only a week away, my thoughts turn to baby sitting. I recently recruited one of Sophia and Ryan's part-time daycare teachers to baby sit for me. I last spoke with her in January before she went back to college. During that phone call we chatted about her work at the daycare, how she loves kids and wants to be a teacher and … how much she charges to baby sit: $10 an hour.

Like many girls, I did a lot baby sitting during college. It was a good way to make a couple extra bucks, and in some cases, a lot of extra money. I enjoyed the extra money, but now that I'm looking for my own baby sitter, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around $10 an hour.

Not that my kids aren't worth it, but the thought of paying someone $10 an hour to sit in my house while my kids are sleeping is a bit hard to swallow. I think if my kids were older and she had to give them dinner and get them to bed, the responsibilities would be greater and I would feel better about them cost.

So, here's what I've been thinking. I could ask the girl to come to my house during the day so my husband and I could have a midday date. This way the kids would be awake and she would have more responsibilities and I would feel better about parting with $10 an hour. We could go to a nice place for lunch, but somehow ordering a bottle of wine and having a romantic LUNCH doesn't exactly sound, well, romantic.

We could just bite the bullet and pay the girl to sit at our house, but most likely we will put the kids to bed early, open a nice bottle of wine and cook dinner for ourselves. Our kitchen table may not be the most romantic setting, but we'll make due.

It's playtime ... finally

Over the last couple of weeks an amazing thing has been happening in the Hoffman house, my kids have begun playing together.

It only happens once in a while and only for brief amounts of time, but it does happen and I have never been happier. For some reason, Ryan finds Sophia hysterical, and it is absolutely adorable. She will get in his face and crack him up with some kind of nonsensical noise. It is so adorable that I want to cry when I watch them.

When Ryan starts laughing, Sophia takes that as a cue to keep going and they will just look at each other and make noises and laugh for up to 5 minutes. At that point, Ryan gets a little over stimulated and I need to step in and give him a little space. I know their play time will slowly increase as Ryan gets older.

There are many days I wish I had my kids a little more than 14 months apart. When I found out I was pregnant with Ryan, I cried. It was not expected and not immediately a joyous occasion. I was terrified of having them so close.

However, during my pregnancy, I met a lot of women who had children very close in age. It turned out to be more common than I first realized. Every single woman I met told me that at first it was going to be very hard, but as they got older it would get easier. And they were all right.

I am now thrilled that my children are close in age. My daughter simply loves her little brother. She has been anxiously waiting for him to react positively to her for four long months and now that it's happening, she is even more in love. You can see it in her eyes, and slowly that same excitement is brewing in Ryan's eyes.

It is wonderful to see them want to play with each other. I can't think of anything better.

Nights and weekends

Last week I reported that Ryan had slept through the night. He slept pretty well almost every night last week, that is, until the weekend.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, Ryan was up at least once in the middle of the night. Friday night he woke at 11:45 p.m., Saturday night it was 1:30 a.m. and Sunday night it was 4 a.m. I don't know what we are doing different at home that makes it so hard for him to sleep at night.

Sophia is the same way with her afternoon nap. At school, she naps from 12:30 to 3 p.m. She sleeps on a mat with a blanket. They eat lunch around 11:30 a.m. and everyone lays down for naps at 12:30. According to the teachers, she is a great sleeper and often they have to wake her at the end of nap time. Over the weekend, we have lunch at 11:30 and nap at 12:30, but she will only sleep for 45 minutes. If I'm really, really lucky and she is really, really tired, she will sleep for an hour and a half, but that hardly ever happens. Oh, and I've tried to let her sleep on the floor instead of her crib at home; that didn't work AT ALL.

As far as Ryan is concerned, he takes two pretty good naps during the day and goes to bed with the same routine every day. Maybe he is sleeping too much during the day and that's why he wakes during the night? I really don't know. Maybe he just loves being home with Mommy and Daddy so much that he can't wait to wake up in the middle of the night to see us. Yeah, that's it.

I wonder if other parent's have this same problem, or if this is unique to my family?

My daughter the car demon

Sophia hates being in the car. She always has. She cried on the way home from the hospital and this trend has continued ever since. This problem was briefly corrected when she moved into a forward-facing car seat, but when I say briefly, I mean she was OK in the car for about a week.

Everyday I listen to her yell, scream and kick. I've tried all types of kids music, audio books and food to distract her. I've tried talking to her, ignoring her and I've even resorted to yelling back at her on more than one occasion.

For a while I was able to pacify her on the way home from daycare with a cookie or two (or five or six). This has backfired on me -- big time. As soon as her bottom touches the car seat she starts asking for a cookie and it gradually escalates to crying and whining until I can get into the driver's seat and tell her to say please, and hand her two cookie. One for each hand.

Several cookies later she wants juice. I can't refill her sippy cup while I'm driving so she freaks out until we get home. As soon as we pull into the driveway she is all smiles again. If you look in the back seat you'll see most of the cookies are in pieces all over the floor. It's not the cookies she really wants, but what she wants is anyone's guess.

I don't understand her aversion to the car. We've never been in an accident and I don't drive erratically. Ryan falls asleep as soon as the car starts running -- he's an angel for sleeping through his sister's tantrums.

I think the car is a perfect place for families to talk to each other so I've been hesitant about getting a DVD player for the back seat, but the idea has crossed my mind.

Sometimes while she's in a heated screaming match with herself, I imagine her at 6 or 7 years old screaming like a banshee in the back seat, while her little brother yells at her to shut up. I get chills just thinking about it.

For now, I know the farthest we can drive is 45 minutes before I need to get out of the car. Maybe when she moves to a booster seat she will be more comfortable and our problem will be solved.

Good morning!

I'm obsessed with sleep. I'm always talking about it and every night I can't wait to do it. And after last night, it looks like I may be able to stop obsessing.

We woke this morning, like every morning, to the cry of a baby, but this morning it was Sophia and this morning it was 7:30.

Last night, Ryan slept through the whole night. When we woke up and realized that neither of us got up with him, our first instinct was to make sure he was OK, but our survival instincts kicked in and we thought better than to go into his room and potentially wake him.

That lasted 15 minutes before the urge to make sure our son was still breathing became overwhelming. At 7:45 a.m., my husband tip-toed into Ryan's room and found our little boy awake and smiling. He must have slept well.

In my experience, that first full night of sleep is stressful in the morning. Instead of waking up feeling well-rested, I wake up and feel anxiety.

Sophia first slept through the night when she was one month old, and since then, with the occasional exception, she has always been a good sleeper. But even now, if we wake up before her, we have to channel all our willpower to not run into her room and check on her.

I don't want to jinx it, but I'm hoping that last night wasn't a fluke and that tonight, tomorrow night and every night after, Ryan and his big sister sleep soundly through the night. It will help everyone feel better, but it won't stop us from worrying about our kids -- I know that will never happen.

One step closer

It’s felt like a million years to get here, but it’s only been four months. This weekend, Ryan rolled over for the first time.

The thrill that came over me when we watch him roll from his belly to his back is indescribable. I am so excited that he has finally hit this milestone, but I am even more excited that he is that much closer to complete mobility. When Ryan can move around on his own he will be able to defend himself against the towering toddler … his big sister.

Sophia absolutely loves her little brother, but she can be a bit aggressive when it comes to showing him how much she loves him. Somehow sticking her face directly in front of his and squealing doesn’t translate real well into “I love you, Ryan.”

When he can move, he will be able to get away from her when she becomes overwhelming. He’ll be able to push her away when she becomes overbearing and he can tackle her to get her back for all the times she’s tried to pick him up by his neck.

Now that he has rolled over, he is one step closer to being able to play with his big sister the way she understands how to play with children her own age. And that means a little more freedom for me.

Thank goodness.

Sick day

It’s often said that busy moms don’t have time to be sick. I have said it myself. I’ve got to keep my sick days for when my kids are sick, I can’t use them when I’m actually sick.

In just the last month I’ve dragged myself into work with everything from laryngitis to a stomach virus, all of which I am sure my co-workers have loved being exposed to.

Since the beginning of the year I haven’t been completely healthy. I blame this on the lack of sleep making my body unable to heal itself because it’s too busy keeping me awake.

New moms tend not to sleep well for weeks, even months after the baby is born. Couple that with trying to heal from the trauma of child birth and playing the role of supermom, and many moms find that complete exhaustion sets in pretty quickly.

I am no different.

I haven’t sat still in months. I was carrying my daughter around the hospital within 24 hours of giving birth to my son. When we came home from the hospital, there was no time for me to sit in bed and recover; I had to hit the ground running, regardless of the doctor’s advice. My daughter was 14 months old and she needed her mommy and daddy and it didn’t matter to her that we just brought home a new baby.

So, here I sit, after nearly four months of running in high gear I have been forced to take a day off. After neglecting my own health for so long, my body has turned against me and a little cold has completely knocked me out. My husband brought the kids to daycare and left me at home with orders to get some sleep.

It’s going to be tough. Even as I sit here writing this, I’m thinking that I could still go into work. But that will not help me and I’ll probably just get sick again next week.

With my focus completely on my kids, it’s so easy to forget to take care of myself, and when I do, I feel guilty about it. The thing is that it’s so important that we, as parents, stay healthy so that we can be great parents and reliable employees.

So, today I will curl up with a cup of tea, take a very long nap and, hopefully, revitalize so I can make it the rest of the year without using another sick day for myself.

Sorry to see you leave

I just learned that today was one of Sophia's teacher's last day. No one told me, I happened to be in one of the classrooms when the teachers were signing a balloon for the departing teacher that said "Miss You."

As I was leaving, I saw the teacher by the door and wished her well. She said that was leaving because she was moving. She seemed sad.

I am also sad. It's hard because I trust these women to take care of my most precious possessions and in return they make me feel like they love my children more than all the others. I like the feeling that I'm leaving my children in the hands of people who honestly and truly care about the welfare of my children and that their job is not just a paycheck to them.

I believe that the people who care for my children while I'm at work have a direct effect on their personality. Picking a daycare was not a choice I made lightly. Because my children are so young, these women are not only changing their diapers and feeding them, but they are also helping to mold their personality. They give my kids the personal interaction that I am not able to give them while I'm at work.

If I didn't like these women personally I would have taken my children out of this daycare. But opening myself up to these feelings for my daycare provider also makes me vulnerable to sadness and disappointment when one of them leaves.

I hope it's a long time before another teacher leaves.

It's a brand new year

Sometimes I hate having kids. Mostly it's at 3 a.m. when the last thing I want to do is run to the kitchen and make a bottle to feed a screaming baby before he wakes up his sister. Of course there are lots of times when I love having kids, but there is alway an ever-present frustration trying to handle the two of them together.

This frustration brought me to my New Year's resolution. Since it's still January, I think I am still justified in talking about my resolution.

Since the birth of my son in September, my life has been turned upside down. With two children under the age of 2, most of the time I feel a little, no a lot, overwhelmed. At 18-months, my daughter wants my attention 100 percent of the time. At the tender age of 4 months, my son needs my attention 100 percent of the time. That leaves me 100 percent overextended. This has created a situation where I've stopped taking advantage of the time I had with my children … while they still liked me.

This year, I want to enjoy spending time with my kids again. This is a wonderfully exciting time for both of them and I want to make sure I don't miss it because I'm too busy being frustrated with their lack of cooperation.

Instead of getting upset that they have banned together and refuse to nap at the same time, I will make a conscious effort to enjoy the fact that I get to spend one-on-one time with each of them.

Instead of freaking out because I can't leave the house for more than 20 minutes without one of them having a breakdown, I will stop trying to do so much during the one day a week I'm home alone with them.

So what if the wash doesn't get done. Who cares if the dishes pile up in the sink. All that stuff will get done in time. My kids will not love me less if their socks aren't folded, but they might if I don't work to develop a long-lasting and loving relationship with them.
Happy 2008.